Last night I took Mel to bed and amazingly, unbelievably Ads was asleep. This was amazing because this child does not sleep. I put her to bed at 8pm faithfully because I had a notion that routine might make her sleep. She usually is sitting in a pile of clothing she has extracted from the dresser trying to wear three pair of panties on her head. But I digress. She was asleep, hair escaping from the tiny braids she insisted on so she could be like Mel. Rosy complexion, rosebud mouth. And it hit me. She's two!. Soon I won't have any babies (ok toddlers). None of that indescribable sweetness. I felt a hole develop in my chest. It's not that I don't love my older kids. In lots of ways they are so much more interesting than toddlers. But my 14 and 15 yo arguing over Halo do not inspire that warm glow that a sleeping toddler does. I know, seasons change, etc., etc., but I've been doing this so long I'm not sure I can sweep along with the season easily. This does not mean I want my 17yo dd to bring home a baby however. Just saying!
1 comment:
I feel that hole too often. Don't know what it means... I think about adoption. I wonder if 1 was all God meant for me to have. I just do what I can to soak it up and be grateful.
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