Thursday, March 09, 2006

Unthinking, Unwanted, Unneeded Comments

Chiming in on the big family topic late here, because I've been doing that home improvment thing. Pictures coming later. At any rate this week's topic are the comments others make concerning family size. Let me start this by saying that I communicate with lots of families with 10 or more kids. I don't really think six is that big. I am in the minority on that.
In no particular order of aggravation:

Don't you know what causes that?
Why yes, I do, and I have received some very nice compliments in that area thank you.

You need a hobby, TV, cable, etc.
My what original comments. You must have plumbed your encyclopedia of witty comments/small talk for those.

I'd kill myself.
Be quiet in front of my kids or I may do the job for you.

You must be insane or alternately You must be a saint.
Yes, yes I am.

Are they all yours?
No, I've collected strays.

How do you afford/feed/care for them ALL!
With great care and effort.

I can't handle my two.
No one could without a whip and chair.

I'm sure glad it's not me.
So am I, and I'm sure my kids will agree.

Are you having more?
This really translates into Are you going to have unprotected sex and lots of it? I think that is way TMI for you.

I'd like to say I hold myself above base comments, but, sadly I often blurt out the first smarta** thing that comes to mind.
If I'm feeling mellow and pleasant I'l just answer them all with the truth. I like kids. They sometimes even grow into interesting adults. Whose parents taught them not to make rude comments.


Lori said...


khadijateri said...

I've got half a dozen kids too and because I live in Libya where it's normal to have large families the only comments I get here are positive ones. The problems start as soon as I step foot in the US when I go home to visit my family.

It begins at the customs desk with "Ma'am, are all those yours? - can you keep them under control please" and the comments don't stop until I leave the US. The thing that bothers me most is that most people in the US assume that if you have 6 kids you must be on welfare and foodstamps, etc. uuuugh!!!

cmhl said...

great answers!!!!

truth said...

Nice comebacks!

moe said...


If people insist on commenting on things that are none of their business they deserve whatever smarta** answer you can come up with.

Here's mine

Dreaming Mommy said...

You know very similar comments started happening this year to me when I was blessed with baby number 4 (and longing for more:-) Only the comments were not directly said to me but to my mother while leaving work to come help in the delivery. A man said to her -"They do know what causes that, right?" As my mother - who only had me and never had these comments aimed at her- turned and said without fluttering- "Yes and they are not asking you or anyone else for assistance so leave them alone. And yes they will continue to have children until they decide as a family that they are done." I loved it - my mother knew I always wanted a lot of children and was not always keen on the idea everytime I tell her we are pregnant again, but now that she has felt the negative comments she understand finally that I do not care - it is for and about our family!