Getting My Head Around It

Sometimes there is a synchronicity to thoughts and conversations that come your way. I was looking at 20mo old dd today. Aside from thinking she is one of the cutest kids on earth, I was thinking how much I love this stage. You can almost see the wheels whirling in their brain. I realized when my oldest was this age her brother had been born, and by the time he reached this age my next ds had arrived. The feeling of my stomach dropping away accompanied the thought that there probably won't be any more 20mo olds. That makes me unbearably sad. I then encountered two people today who wanted to gleefully regale me with stories of their tubal ligations. (Why they should want to talk about that I don't know.) I'm feeling grief over a lack of babies and they are celebrating the end of that season of life. Now please, don't leave me snarky comments about how I should be so grateful for the ones I have, I've got my share, yada, yada. I know that and I agree, but... kids are like chocolate, just because you've had some it doesn't mean you don't want more.